also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
May the power of my ass compel you!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you never un-have a 4some
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
