CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
