i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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