YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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