how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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