oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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