You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I look better un-naked...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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