our cab driver is having phone sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
