he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I stole a fireplace last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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