i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
