you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize