Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
