ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
