Well apparently he's into motor boating.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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