I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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