I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize