Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
