If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
