He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
