we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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