oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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