why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
