I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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