it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
