i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
