Your face is a jimmy john
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
