I can't breathe out the right side of my face
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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