i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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