Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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