I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
