You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
