What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
