the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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