You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
