He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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