We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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