check it out our google latitudes are spooning
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
