I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
