So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We got so high we made milksteak
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
