i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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