Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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