either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
