I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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