After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
