Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
