I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
