please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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