Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
