saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
