hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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