We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
