Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize