My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
