i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
