why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
