Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
