I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize