He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
