He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I want to fling myself into the sun
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize