I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
