Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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