you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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