Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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