Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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