So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
