Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
