I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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