I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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