it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
