And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
