Redeem this text for a blowjob
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
