Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
