You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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