I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Enjoy the penises
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
