For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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