i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
