brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
