He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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