My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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