You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
