Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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