I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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